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22sUMMER2009TheevoluTionofculTureTheEvoluTionofCulTurEHasasiancultureevolvedtobecomemorebritisHasksAdeelaShafx18Canyouletusknowifyouarestayingfordinnersowecancaterforyoux19saidmysister-in-lawwhenIwasvisitingmyin-laws.x18UmmIx19mnotsurex19Ireplied.AndIglanceatmyhusband.ItwasaratherdirectquestionandoneIfeltquiteawkwardanswering.IfIsaidnowemightnotgetanydinner.IfIsaidyesitmightimplythatIhadnotmadeanythingathomewhichdefnitelyisnotagoodthing.Backinthex18olddaysx19whensomeonecametomyhousemymumwouldtellustobringintheteaforvisitorswithin10minutesoftheirarrival.Youdidnotevenaskthem.Thequestionofaskingpeopletostayfordinnerdidnotarise.Mydadwoulddiscreetlypopouttogetanybitswemightneedandwejustmadeextra.ThevisitorwouldsimplyjoinusafterwehadinsistedandtheyhadresistedintrueAsianfashion.ThiswasthenormformeuntilIgotolderandvisitedEnglishfriends.TheirmumswouldofferusteaIwouldsaynotobepolitewhenreallyIdidwantit.MyfriendwouldthengethermealandIx19dgetnothing.IquicklylearntthatinEnglishcultureifyousaidnotohospitalityitmeantno.SimilarlyifyouforcedfoodonanEnglishpersonwhentheyhadpolitelyrefuseditcouldbemisconstruedasrude.SohavewechangedHasAsiancultureevolvedtobecomemoreBritishIthinkithas.Andnotjustoverwhentochooseorrefusehospitalitybutinwaysthatcouldenhanceourcultureandinotherwaysthatthreatentodestroyit.SecondgenerationchildrenwoulddescribethemselvesasBritish.PakistanIndiaandBangladesharewheretheirparentscomefromandaholidaydestination.NowadaysintrueBritishstylewearelesslikelytoairouropinionsforfearthatwemaybeseenasx18interferingx19.Justonegenerationagochildrenwouldbecarefulabouttheirmannersforfearofbadbehaviourgettingbacktotheirparents.Andparentsnotalwaysjustyourownwouldinterferebecauseitwasacommunalresponsibilitytoensureeveryonebehaved.Whatthefamilyandcommunitythoughtwasimportantandmaintainingfamilyrespectwasintegraltoouractions.OfcourseinsomepartsoftheUKwhereAsiancommunitieshavecontinuedtobeverycloseknitgeographicallythisstillexists.ButifyoulookatplaceslikeLondonCardiffandBristolthisisundoubtedlychanging.Our