Adoption: Daddy are you black like me?

Britain is a country in denial about the reality of race and racism. In large part most people just don’t understand nor accept the reality that racism exists and continues to blight the lives of millions of black Britons on a daily basis. White denial of racist claims by black people is now almost axiomatic. Such claims are now routinely denied almost as a matter of principle.

There is however a discreet number of issues that expose the deep fault lines of race and class in the United Kingdom.

The trans racial adoption of black kids in care is one of these issues. The education secretary Michael Gove decision to relax the rules on interracial adoption has naturally excited the “political correctness gone mad” brigade who went into overdrive on this issue fulminating about the rights of the black children in care to a family life regardless of the race of the adoptive parents.

This is of course utter nonsense and is the worst sort of political posturing at the expenses of black kids on care.

The reality is as any black parent knows is that black children need to be taught the reality of black life in a white society that is defined by racism.

What to expect in the school playground, the reality of life for tall black boys, how to handle racist comments and the stereotypically low expectations of white people, how to spot danger when in isolated non white areas, how to handle institutional racism, health issues, skin and hair care and not least cultural awareness and understanding so important for balanced psychological health of any child. All are critical factors when considering such adoptions.

There are many examples of transracial adoptions that have failed because the overriding need of the majority of black children particularly when the reach puberty to understand their culture of origin.

Youngsters desperately seek an informed and authentic understanding of who they are and their cultural background. Failing that they seek empathetic understanding from others who understand the reality of racism in British society.

Some white parents are ill equipped to offer such understanding and the tragedy is that both they and the child both suffer emotionally when the psychological and cultural needs of black children are not understood.

In the 1980’s I delivered a support project for transracially adoptive children and their parents for a south London Council who had recognised the real difficulties of black children in transracial families. The project was called “ The Black Like Me Project” provided intensive training and awareness courses for black children and their white adoptive parents, introducing them to black cultural heritage and educating them on the realities of racism in Britain.

We also provided parents and children basic health care, hair and skin advice. There were real horror stories of parent’s attempts to deal with African hair and failing to understand the necessity of creaming black skin where necessary.

We taught children and their white adoptive parents general black history, highlighted black health issues and explored the emotional and development needs of young black people. We visited a range of black projects other black communities in the UK and using charismatic Caribbean and African cooks we taught them how to cook ethnic meals.

We also provided adoptive black grandparents to the families giving them access to culturally appropriate support and understanding of the particular issues and pressure faced by black children in care.

In the 1980’s a group of black children in care wrote a first hand report of their experience of being adopted by white parents who had little or no understanding of black cultural child development perspectives and health issues. The report outlined the tragedy faced by many black children facing racism alone and in isolated white communities.

There were those who tried to bleach their skin, others who thought they were white, those who endured racist bullying and name calling, black girls whose hair was completely ruined left untreated. Others exploited young black adolescents searching for a sense of self in search of their identity.

The project gave confidence to white parents and educated young people in relation to their history and culture. All thoroughly enjoyed the courses, which were tremendously popular and lead to a drop in the number of adoptions that broke down.

Few black people would support a blanket ban on transracial adoptions that would be completely objectionable. However, it is equally crass to suggest that a child’s ethnic background is of no consequence when considering such adoptions.

White parents and their adoptive black children need access to support to ensure that the high rate of breakdowns in such adoptions is reduced. 

The tragedy of this debate is that the voices of black children in care are not being heard. Who speaks for black children in care in the current debate?

The fear is that what Michael Gove is proposing will give a green light to a return to the bad old days.

Lee Jasper

Main Picture: Secretary of state for Education, Michael Gove makes a case for trans racial adoption of black children.